So today is Mom's birthday so, Happy Birthday Mom!

We did the usual: wake, congratulate, made pancakes, and watched a movie. What movie you say? Why, it was D.E.B.S. (the 2004 version) of course. A great spy-flick, very Charlie's Angels -like.

Haha, no but seriously, it was very akward watching it as a family. I mean, the movie is not bad, in fact its pretty good for its genre (Stupid comedy, right?), well, its better than the -insert word here- Movie series (like Epic movie, etc, perhaps except Date Movie and I wouldnt say Date movie is the greatest piece of comedy out there, but it has Alyson Hannigan in it and thats pretty much a win!), but anyway, thats not why it was awkward, the thing is (and I guess I shouldve paid attention to my gut instinct as the movie started), it has a lesbian relationship as the main focus (Between Spy-girl Amy and the sexiest baddie, Lucy Diamond), and well, lets just say that Mom is not comfortable with gay people.

... Well, that's not true, she's had many good (male) gay friends, the only person she's uncomfortable with is me (and lesbians, maybe), my sexuality to be precise (bisexual, if you must know). She's still in denial of it. She gave me the typical "Where did I go wrong" speech when I first came out to her those many years ago (ha. 3 years ago.) and since then, she's been all "You cant be gay, I forbid it, its against everything I believe in", blahblah (to her, and I guess to many people "bisexual" means "lesbo" which is all fine and dandy). Right now, there's a unspoken agreement between her and I that we won't discuss it anymore at all (either that or she thinks I finally "saw reason" and "became straight again").

But anyway, I understand where she's coming from, I mean, finding out that the oldest of her daughters likes to kiss girls (and most likely is the only gay in the family), is shocking and hard to swallow yeah, but, c'mon woman! you don't have to be all childish about it.

It was frustrating, that in every scene of the movie when the two lady-friends were gonna kiss/kissed she kept making "Ewww!" noises like a six year old. God, I swear she kept glancing at me just to see my reaction (at first I was amused, then just plain pissed off, like seriously, WTF!). 

She made the first half of the movie completely unbearable to watch with her. And then, when it was over, she started talking at the dog: "Don't go queer on me Tekila, you hear me? don't be a fag."  (which felt that it was sorely directed at me). And, I mean, if thats her way of coping, its seriously messed up, she might not realize it, but instead of "convincing me" or "guilt-triping" me into "becoming straight", shes just hurting me, and disappointing me. I'd prefer it if shed just ignore it completely.

I guess I should be grateful that she's only being immature about it, it's not like shes beating me or anything. But really, Daddy was more accepting of it (I guess he doesnt care either way, as long as I stay away from boys), I mean, i expected more from her than this childrens play. Not that I expected her to accept it, but It's not like I go around kissing every girl I see on the street, I don't even talk about girls or crushes out of respect for her feelings. I turn away when we see gay coules, as well as when something on TV is so much as implying of the "deviant lifestyle" (in front of her anyway, she does not need to know about my... engagements outside of the family circle).

The point is, I try to repress myself as much as I can, all for her sake, and she comes at me with this crap. I thought we were human beings, mature women who can speak crearly and honestly with each other, without either of us turning into kids. I guess I was mistaken.

Ugh.

My only form of amusement is thinking about what Moms reaction would be if she knew that Xena and Gabrielle are more than just good friends, that unlike what I made her believe, the two witches in Buffy are in a relationship of the sapphic nature, and that Fried Green Tomatoes does actually have lesbians in it. Ha.

On another note, D.E.B.S. made me realize of the greatness that is Jordanna Brewster. She is really yummy.

EDIT: Oh, and I did the Calculus problem stated in the previous entry. It was relatively easy, now that I think about it.

...So yesterday was the first episode of TEH Sasameki Koto. However, as excited I was to watch it (it was practically my only thought all day), I decided against it. Why? simple:

It's punishment.

I decided to punish myself; No Sasameki Koto and no Himegami No Miko and no anime whatsoever for the rest of the semester. I'm really behind in Calculus as it is; And let's not even start with Statics; I'm barely coming around in Programming, and the Circuits teacher is really laying it thick with schoolwork. So, basically, if I want to get anything done I best not distract myself with anything else (and I've been procrastinating even more than in Highschool).

Anyway, right now, I'm trying to get ahead with Calculus work. We're starting derivatives (or well, I am, since I never learned them in highschool... add to it that my Algebra is really rusty [read: almost non-existant]) and I'm still trying to comprehend how you go from this:

f(x)= (x - a)(x - b)(x - c)(x - d)

to this:

f ' (x)= 4x^3 - 3x^2(a + b + c + d) + 2x(a(b + c + d) + b(c + d) + cd) - (abc + abd + acd +bcd)

I've done most of it, and I've done the rest of the problems, and then I get stuck when it's time to do the above... Call me stupid or whatever; I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just get all confused (I have all these letters and I don't know how to 'add' them up).

Ugh. Whatever.

Hmph. On another note, the Circuits Teacher made (well, not 'made' us, but it's a must) us install this program for Circuit-making. So, yes, I had to uninstall PSP8 before my computer became a bastard and decided it didn't like how I treated it... it's really slow as it is. T.T

And because I'm really bored:

( My Bookmarks )

Anyway, I was going crazy last week. I could not find a (safe) download address for the Okamikakushi opening (believe me when I say it rawks), so I decided to download the video from Youtube and then extract the audio. It turned out fine, methinks.

So, anyway, I decided to share (uh..) so here it is:

The Beginning of the end - Okamikakushi [mp3]



( Uh... )

Earlier, I was looking for Kannazuki No Miko doujinshi and came across one called Kannazuki no Uragawa Plus, and thought the cover art was okay, so I downloaded and read it....

...

...I should've known it was porn.

I'm just so used to the cute, funny and fluffy ones over at Nanofate.us, or like the Rozen Maiden 4-komas at Unyuunymous. In retrospect, I should have never randomly downloaded something without a reference first. I could practically feel my eyeballs melting as I read. It was like a trainwreck, horrible and yet I couldn't turn away.

I'm all traumatized now.

...Well, at least something good came out of it. I learned what the word Futanari means (eww, and really?).

Oh, and: "How many times do I have to teach it to your body!?" Did provoke a Lol from me. (For the rest I was going all WTF!? Especially the part with Sister Miyako)

But anyway, enough of that. I know I'm sad.

I also tried out Paint Shop Pro 8 and found out about the amazing applications it has (can't install PSP9 or newer versions since my computer is a bastard). Specifically, I loved the background eraser. It makes it easier to work with pics.

It's been a while since I last used any picture-editing programs so had to get re-acquainted with it yet again (by trial and error, it seems).

( And this is what came out of it )

Anyway, gotta get back to studying (has Chem, Programming and Calculus tests on monday).


Note: If anybody is wondering (or if anybody at all is reading this) As I understand it, the word Futanari is commonly used for hermaphrodites in Doujinshi. In this particular case, it meant Dick!girl. And it's plainly obvious that Himeko is in no way a seme.
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Oh wow, it's been a long time since I've been to LJ.
It seems I just created this journal after I got sick of my other one: graceful_psycho (which shouldn't be visited ever. It's embarrassing) and then completely abandoned it (haha) It's just, when I post, it suspiciously feels like I'm talking to myself (which I guess I might as well be). And that's kinda depressing.

... Is posting at lj depressing? Hm...

Huh, I used to make fun of Myspace users back in highschool... and i used to think Fackebook-ers despicable, and now look at me, I have an account at Myspace which I don't use (mostly due to the fact that I never learned to use it), I am a member of Facebook (an inactive member, but a member nontheless), I have a metroflog (in which I'm too lazy to post) and a Hi5 (... no comment) and now, I'm back at lj.

... Oh, god, I'm depressing.

But anyway, it seems that after I moved to Guadalajara my inspiration it's doing its best to resurrect. (Because I've also been away from Fanfiction writing, though I have been lurking).

... However, I'm disappointed it decided to comeback when I don't need more distractions. I started college a month ago in the Electronics Engineering career, and it turned out to be one of the hard ones. It doesn't help the fact that my teachers are very demanding (you would not believe) and that my time is spent at school, or at home doing piles and piles of homework, worring about tests (which start next week) which I have not started sudying for, and worrying about presentations.

Not to mention that I get very distracted when I'm bored... which happens all the time.

I've come to accept the fact that I am the worst type of procrastinator...

Don't get me wrong, I love the career, however, when you're an anime/Videogame lover (and just plain lazy), everything else pretty much comes in second place (like that Circuits test which I really need to start studying for...). T_T

But anyway, enough of that.

So, since I've returned to lj, I might as well start posting work (poem/fanfiction-related), which I will do here. So, I guess the journal will not be private (or not so much anyway).

Anyway, inspiration came to me in the form of a plot for a fic. It's a Mai-HiME one, Shizuru-centric (but not in her POV) and the continuation of this fic. So it is pretty much a given that it will be dark. Very dark.

As of now, I only have the rough draft (which I wrote inbetween classes) and it still needs a lot of description (which I am awful for, it's a shame really, that English is the language that I'm most comfortable with and I'm not satisfied with the level of English they teach here in Mexico... which feels like the basics).
Also, it needs a better, what's it called, Transition? between events.

Meh, Spanish is my first language, so be patient.

This is a teaser.


( The lights were out... )


And that's it! I've never done a teaser for any of my fics (that I remember of). So, this is a first.

Anyway, I'm not sure when I'll finish it. I'm very very lazy and  my stupid computer does not like to cooperate with me.

I do, however, hope to upload the full fic before Shizuru's B-day (Dec/19, hah 18 days after my own). Maybe.

Also, since I've been a FanfictionDOTnet member for over five years, I was planning to do something, but the date passed (the anniversary is in april, i think). I'm itching to do a fluffy Setsuna/Kuu (From KyoSora) oneshot, now that Himegami No Miko has been confirmed for October I'm hoping to see Chikane/Kaon and Himeko/Himiko in a new adventure, and hoping that Setsuna will be used as well.

... but anyway, We'll see.